Friends are fragile...handle with care

This week I inadvertently hurt the feelings of one of my best friends in the world. There was a misunderstanding that resulted in her being hurt and it has literally made me sick all week. It has also weighed heavily on my mind and given me a lot of food for thought. It has made me reflect upon things about myself and about the people in my life. It solidifies the fact to me that I am a pleaser--I do everything I can to make the people in my life happy and when my everything fails I am a wreck. I have always know that in most aspects of my life I always put myself second. I am often more worried about making sure that others are happy and that things are good in their life than I am at making sure things are right in my own. I go back and forth trying to decide if this is a good character trait or not, but ultimately, it is what it is and I am what I am. I'm not going to change (at least not that much) from who I am and what makes me me. So I will not only accept this character trait, but I will embrace it and I will try to learn life lessons from the events of this week. For the most part I know it is good--I love everyone and I try really hard to make life easier for everyone around me--really what's bad about that? The downside is that I let other people's problems become my own as I try to solve them and I make myself a worried wreck over those things I so desperately want to change yet have no control over. Like I said, these are things I have always known about myself, but this week, has really shaken me up. I know that I like to be there to help anyone out-yes, even strangers, but when I can't be there for friends, it literally kills me inside. So to this friend--I'm more than sorry. I know that it's silly to still be stressing over this, but the fact that I hurt you has made me cry more than once this week and while I know that we are good enough friends to get past everything I can't help but worry. And to me, learn from this moment that friendship-even (or maybe especially) the strongest and longest ones-are fragile and do still need to be handled with care. No one is so strong that their feelings can't be hurt. No relationship is so solid that it's walls can't crumble. All I can do is my best and hopefully tomorow's best will be better than today's, but if not, at least I can promise I will keep trying and doing my best...after all that's just one of those things that makes me me.