The Sweet Smells of Laundry

Today was laundry day and to be honest, it's kind of throwing me for a loop. Except for the part about the sweet smells of laundry:

Laundry smells soothe me. Correction; MY laundry smells soothe me. (The clean ones, not the dirty's)

Anyway, there's a story in here somewhere. Saturday is not usually laundry day; that's Monday's job and to be honest, I don't really like messing with the schedule. But after a week of vacation and a husband who was "living out of the dryer" (and yes, that's a direct quote) I had to shake up the schedule a bit.

In case you are wondering; living out of the dryer is what happens when a full grown male is left behind for the week on Friday by his wife and four kids. Then when Monday-laundry day-rolls around, he's down to his last pair of underwear, and he doesn't even know it. On Tuesday when he wakes he's in for a surprise and is forced to do the laundry. And in case you're still wondering, Craig doing laundry consists of washing and drying only the essentials and then leaving them in the dryer for the week. Which means every morning when he's done in the shower, he's in for a trip to the laundry room.

And in case you were wondering, he doesn't know the secret to the smells. He totally missed out on that one and he's really glad I'm back!

Third Time's a Charm or Three Strikes You're Out

OK-here it is. The Marathon report. I kind of dreaded putting it up here, but here goes nothing.

Saturday I ran the St. George Marathon. The good news; I am now walking forwards and full speed down the stairs. The bad news; the race was awful. (OK maybe not the whole race, but definitely the last 6 or better yet 16, which kind of makes the rest seem like it was too.)

The story.

Last year, I missed qualifying for the Boston Marathon by a measly 70 seconds--70 seconds! I was so mad at myself because there were a lot of stupid things I did that cost me that qualifying time. It was my own stupidity that was my downfall that day and I was not happy. There was anger. There were tears and there was a whole new drive and focus pushing me from that point on. I spent a whole year focusing on it. Every single run I went on it was in the back of my brain. I pushed myself more. I focused harder and I tried to figure out some of the mental kinks that always seem to pull me down in a race. After a lot of work and time and effort, I thought I had banished some of my demons and I felt ready for the race. Physically it was totally within my reach. Mentally it was too. I left for St. George feeling strong and ready. I wasn't cocky, but I was definitely confident. I knew I could do it and I was letting myself believe it. No self doubt. No negative thoughts. No what ifs?

I. Was. Ready.

Fast forward to the starting line. I was there with Lisa and Laurie and one of us commented on the eerie calm that we felt. And the weird thing is that we all felt it. No butterflies. No stressing. No worries. Just calm. I figured it was a good sign.

Too bad I was wrong.

The race started fine. We ran on pace and everyone felt good. But that eerie calm turned into an eerie silence. Silence. For five whole miles. Usually in our running group if you've got me or Laurie there, you've got stories and gripes and plenty words to last at least 20 miles. But both of us were totally silent. It was weird and it made me wonder what was going on. It wasn't normal; but it was only mile five, so I wasn't sweating it. But that silence stayed. By mile seven we started to spread out on the course. Lisa took off looking as strong as I've seen her all year. (She ended up with a PR and plenty of time to spare on that BQ-YAY LISA!!!) Laurie and I hung back. We kept jockeying back and forth on the course. But still, there was...silence. It was weird and by mile 10 it started to worry me. I realized at that point that something was off. I wasn't myself and I started to worry. BUT... I kept pace, that qualifying time was still within my reach. For the next 10 Laurie and I kept trading spots--in silence--it was weird and that eerie calm was starting to be replaced with a sense of foreboding. Somewhere around mile 16 I finally pulled out my music hoping it would get me focused only on running. It didn't. That sense of foreboding stayed. It was weird and I just felt so uneasy. BUT...I kept pace; that is, until mile 20. Laurie had caught up with me for what would be the last time. She uttered some words of encouragement and I felt good and matched her stride and was determined to stay with her. BUT...I blacked out. My legs went shaky and my vision was black and I had to walk. Laurie was calling for me to keep up. But I couldn't. My body just wouldn't. And it went on a lot like that for the next six miles. I wanted so badly to pick up the pace. I tried so hard. I gave it everything I had. BUT...I just couldn't. In that last six miles I blacked out a couple more times and kept having to walk for just a minute to get my focus back. At mile 22 when the poop out bus passed me it was everything I could do to not tap on their window and just quit. My body wanted me to so bad, but I wouldn't let myself. But I will say I have never been more tempted to do anything in my entire life. When I saw my family cheering for me at mile 24, again, I just wanted to quit. I have never had to push through feeling like that before and I wanted to be done. But those smiling faces and those cute signs saying "run Mommy run" kept me going. That and Craig telling me not to stop but just to keep running. So I went off, slowly but surely to finish the race. As I turned on to diagonal street, there was Andrew, ready to pace me for the last mile and a half or so. Craig was so sweet. He checked to make sure I was OK with it before letting him come out on the course. And Andrew was so great. He made sure to stay a couple of steps in front of me and when I wanted to walk so bad, he kept me running. He also took my i-pod that was driving me nuts. It was so great to see his strong little legs up there and have him pull me along for the end. I felt like crap, but it reminded me that I have so much support behind me and in front of me--even if I don't live up to what I'm capable of.

That last mile seemed to stretch on forever and when I hit the 26 mile mark I tried my hardest to sprint. My legs just wouldn't cooperate. I ended up finishing that .2 with a 9:47 pace--that was everything I had. Thankfully there were national guardsmen at the finish line, because as I crossed, I blacked out again and I had to hang on to one for a minute or so just to make sure I could stand on my own. (I was so out of it I don't even know if he was cute or not-grrrr.) After I was sure I could stand on my own with out going wobbly legged or weak in the knees, I let go of him and used Andrew for my support. Then, I made the slow walk of shame to find my friends.

My final time was supposed to be anywhere under 3 hours and 40 minutes. It ended up being 3 hours 47 minutes and 35 seconds. I was deflated, defeated, and since we're going with a de theme, I was dehydrated. But strangely, I was OK. Last year when I crossed that line and got my official time, I instantly picked out the places that I knew had cost me the race. I knew what stupid mistakes I made and was instantly upset with myself. Last year it was my fault--my mind, not my body.

This year was different. Even though I still feel the pain of disappointment. Even as tears sting at my eyes as I type this, I know that I did EVERYTHING I possibly could in that race. I pushed myself mentally harder than I ever have. There really is only one point in the whole race that I regret taking a walking break-and it was only 100 yards or so. I know that I did my best. Now I only have to deal with my best not being good enough; and that's the hard part.

So as an end to this story-or at least this chapter, I am planning on running St. George again next year. (Yeah, I know I'm crazy) I will set the same goals and I will work just as hard. BUT...I have a new motto. Third time's a charm or three strikes you're out--take your pick! I will do it again, I will try my hardest and give it everything I've got, BUT...if I can't qualify next year, something is going to change. Maybe it will be my distance, maybe it will be my goals, I don't know yet, but I'm ready and willing to give it one more try.

Wish me luck!

Modern Day Fairy Tale

The Three Little Twigs and
the Big Bad Beaver

*Based on real events. (Yeah, real scary ones)
*Names have been changed to protect the not so innocent

One fine dark morning before dawn did crack,
The three little twigs started their out-n-back.
Lauren and Liesl and Becky did meet
In the front of a house on a dark city street.

The girls said "Oh Becky, your schedule does stink,
It makes up get up before we can think!
We'd better start running or else we do fear,
We'd go back to bed and not wake 'till next year."

So off the twigs went, right up that dark street
And those three little twigs, they were light on their feet.
Lauren looked good--a new brace on her knee,
And Liesl was sporting her yellow Nike.

Becky was running and pushing the pace,
It was their last 20 miler before the big race.
But this morning a problem was really quite clear
Not a sound was around for those three twigs to hear.

For those three little twigs were still half asleep,
And their mouths were so quiet; not even a peep.
Then Becky recalled; "I've a story to share-
Of a mountain trail runner--attacked by a bear."

So the story she started, no details were spared
And those three little twigs were a tiny bit scared.
You see it was dark, not a light was around
As they ran up the canyon and heard every sound.

And as the story was told of that nasty attack,
The bushes began to rustle and crack.
The three twigs were worried--"Oh what can it be,
Sneaking out from the shadows to attack you and me?"

When suddenly, down low a big head popped out
Right next to the three twigs which made them all shout.
They screamed as they bunched up as close as can be
(And two of those three twigs just happened to pee)

And what; now you wonder, could cause such great fear
For three strong, brave women with their butts in high gear?
A Beaver.
That's right. You heard me, it's true.
A big giant beaver who made his debut.

A beaver? No really? You ask as you laugh,
But let me just tell you on the three twigs behalf.
That beavers who lurk in dark bushes do scare
Especially when mixed with an attacking bear

The three twigs they had every right to be scared
And that beaver attack left them a bit ill prepared;
Because after the sheer fright had worn off a bit
The three twigs broke into a giggling fit.

They couldn't stop laughing, their legs they did shake
And they just kept on laughing 'till their sides did ache
And finally after the three twigs calmed down
They finished their run with a new found renown.

For beavers and other small creatures that lurk
Behind the dark bushes and quietly smirk
At the chance they might have to catch twigs unaware
And give them a truly unnerving scare.

Now what now you may ask is the point of this tale?
It's simple. There's one thing you should do without fail;
Never go running without someone else there.
Someone who can share the best kind of scare.

The scare that delivers a terrible fright
And then keeps you giggling all through the night.
That's right, you need twigs to help keep you to run
'Cause let's face it--without twigs, running's no fun!

Good luck to the three little twigs on Saturday! Here's hoping we're all Boston bound and beaver free! I love you girls (even the twigs who aren't racing!)

Absence by the numbers

OK, so I know I've been gone....for a long time...and really I can't see anything changing soon, but I do have a minute and a blog post has been swirling around in my mind so I figured it was time to at least get back on the horse so to speak...

So here, are my top ten reasons for my extended absence:

1 marathon coming up--consuming all my mental reserve-hence the blogging is taking a back seat. And thankfully there is not much mental reserve right now so I can say that while this one is major, I haven't even had time to get anxious and/or nervous yet.

2 carnivals that I am playing a large part in putting on--one for primary and one for the PTA

3 days in between the two carnivals--yes, I'm crazy.

4 children whose homework and other various activities keep me running all the time

5 people who live with me but can't seem to clean up after themselves

6 hours of sleep that I am currently averaging a night--I'm trying to improve on that one in the next two weeks so my body has an extra boost for the marathon

7 times a week that I have to be at the elementary school--3 daily drop of and pick up times and four different volunteer spots. Plus what ever other crazy things I agree to do over there--seriously people help our in your PTA--they need you! (I guess technically that adds up to 19, but that would mess up my attmpts to be clever)

8 or more blog posts that I have totally neglected and will inevitably keep nagging me until I get them in done

9 times to many that I have opened my mouth to say--"I can do that!" Really I have got to learn to just shut up!

10 different activities that my kids are involved in on a weekly basis-dance for Sarah, soccer for Ben (which happens to be 3 times a week). Dance, piano, acting and 4-H for Madeline. Soccer (again 3 times a week), 4-H, scouts and piano for Andrew.

Now know this, I'm not complaining. I love it. OK, reality check, I love most of it. I love having busy kids and I love the crazy fast paced life that fall brings to our house. I just know that my first priority is being a mom and so in the midst of all this something has had to get the boot, and for now it is blogging. But I am there and I do read--sometimes I even have the gumption to comment--and I know that sometime I will be back....who knows, maybe even sooner than later, because my kids are quiet and I'm ignoring the long to do list for today so maybe I'll even finish the poem I started three weeks ago.....stay tuned!

Time is of the essence....

But sadly, I don't seem to have any. I have so much I have wanted to post about but life....and kids....and summer, have gotten in the way! But today I realized that I am really missing the blogging buddies I have made. So stay tuned. I hope to have time soon, but know I'm still trying to read and trying to catch up on my own life so that I can come back soon! However, I've got to take care of first things first, and sadly, these days, the blog is the first thing to go. Wish me luck in making it back!

Favorite Picture

Just to get myself back into the blogging game, I am going to do a quick post. Really I have so much I want to put up, and fun stuff too, not just my family vacation. But the whole time thing is throwing me off and as soon as I find some while my brain is still somewhat functioning, I will post. But for now, I just want to put something up there, so without further adieu, here is my favorite picture from the family vacation:
I just love their matching pose! (I won't mention that the only reason she was on the carousel in the first place was to keep her mom from possibly beating her;-) good thing we have daddies!)

Grab Your Barf Bags

OK, I know I have a whole lot of other things to post about--including a very fun family vacation, but for now let's leave it with this: If I have to hear anything else about Michael Jackson

I
MIGHT
JUST
THROW
UP!

Enough already!