Sunday, October 31, 2010
One more thing
Another thing that hit me pretty hard tonight was that I am loosing so much of them and their lives by not writing it down, so I am yet again, vowing to do a better job at keeping up on this blog, because it is the best I have ever done at keeping a journal of our lives and as I look back on the memories I have written down, I really do treasure them and I know that I have so many more treasures that I am letting slip away!
STOP GROWING!
Tonight I took my kids trick-or-treating.
OK, correction, I took two of my four kids trick-or-treating. Only two :( Andrew decided that he would rather stay home and watch a football game, and Madeline went to Virginia with my mom to visit my sister and her kids. As we were out there tonight I was so sad. This was the first year EVER that we haven't all gone out together to trick-or-treat. Usually we meet up with some friends and or neighbors and we spend the whole evening hanging out as family and friends and I love i- the family and friends part, the going door to door begging for candy gets more stupid to me every year, but I digress. The point is, as I was out there with my 2 youngest, I realized that they are growing up so fast and our lives are rapidly changing and guess what?
I. DON'T. LIKE. IT.
Who told my kids it was OK for them to grow up and to stop needing me? Who told them that it was cooler to watch football than to go trick-or-treating with your mom? Who told my baby that she should just go ahead and turn 4 this week like it was no big deal? Seriously, who told them?
I have know this was coming for a while, but tonight it was blatantly obvious that I am at a crossroads in my life. I am no longer needed like I used to be. My kids can (sort of) take care of themselves. I am in no way kidding myself to think that they don't need me any more, I just am realizing that they don't need me in the same ways that they used to and I am having a bit of a hard time with the whole thing. I just wish that they could stop growing while I figure this whole thing out, because to be honest with you, I'm not sure how much I like it!
OK, correction, I took two of my four kids trick-or-treating. Only two :( Andrew decided that he would rather stay home and watch a football game, and Madeline went to Virginia with my mom to visit my sister and her kids. As we were out there tonight I was so sad. This was the first year EVER that we haven't all gone out together to trick-or-treat. Usually we meet up with some friends and or neighbors and we spend the whole evening hanging out as family and friends and I love i- the family and friends part, the going door to door begging for candy gets more stupid to me every year, but I digress. The point is, as I was out there with my 2 youngest, I realized that they are growing up so fast and our lives are rapidly changing and guess what?
I. DON'T. LIKE. IT.
Who told my kids it was OK for them to grow up and to stop needing me? Who told them that it was cooler to watch football than to go trick-or-treating with your mom? Who told my baby that she should just go ahead and turn 4 this week like it was no big deal? Seriously, who told them?
I have know this was coming for a while, but tonight it was blatantly obvious that I am at a crossroads in my life. I am no longer needed like I used to be. My kids can (sort of) take care of themselves. I am in no way kidding myself to think that they don't need me any more, I just am realizing that they don't need me in the same ways that they used to and I am having a bit of a hard time with the whole thing. I just wish that they could stop growing while I figure this whole thing out, because to be honest with you, I'm not sure how much I like it!
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